Is anybody outtt thereeee?
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
That Thing
That thing was happening again. That thing where she couldn’t breathe without feeling like her ribs would splinter inside her chest. That thing where pulses of electrical fear ricocheted from bone to bone the entire way up her spine, piercing the front of her brain and collapsing her common sense. That thing where fear like nothing else gripped her with negated fingers and made logic cease to exist. That thing was happening again.
She gripped his intruding hand from her crotch and shot out of bed grabbing her clothes, her mobile, her shoes and the last of her dignity. She crashed out of the bedroom door and down the long corridor that would undoubtedly be the long corridor she faced in her nightmares again tonight. She’d done this before and each time it was the same, ripping all her strength from her body and mind. She’d do it again and she’d feel like this; she’d do it again.
An almost insatiable desire to call her father shot through her brain as she left his house. She hadn’t spoken to her father for days and wouldn’t go back home until the headfuck had stopped. She didn’t need another headfuck.
That mans face was emblazoned across her mind as she ran the half mile journey back to the safest place she knew. She slowed as she neared the riverside and almost collapsed as the realisation of the terrible mistake she had made began to dawn on her. She retched violently, her breasts bruised and tender, her swollen cunt throbbing. She liked to say cunt; her father didn’t allow it.
She almost fainted onto the riverside, her toes in the freezing water. She hadn’t stopped to put her shoes on and didn’t recall where the hell she’d dropped them anyway.
That thing had happened again.
She gripped his intruding hand from her crotch and shot out of bed grabbing her clothes, her mobile, her shoes and the last of her dignity. She crashed out of the bedroom door and down the long corridor that would undoubtedly be the long corridor she faced in her nightmares again tonight. She’d done this before and each time it was the same, ripping all her strength from her body and mind. She’d do it again and she’d feel like this; she’d do it again.
An almost insatiable desire to call her father shot through her brain as she left his house. She hadn’t spoken to her father for days and wouldn’t go back home until the headfuck had stopped. She didn’t need another headfuck.
That mans face was emblazoned across her mind as she ran the half mile journey back to the safest place she knew. She slowed as she neared the riverside and almost collapsed as the realisation of the terrible mistake she had made began to dawn on her. She retched violently, her breasts bruised and tender, her swollen cunt throbbing. She liked to say cunt; her father didn’t allow it.
She almost fainted onto the riverside, her toes in the freezing water. She hadn’t stopped to put her shoes on and didn’t recall where the hell she’d dropped them anyway.
That thing had happened again.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
The Thing About Love...
The thing about love is that it isn't, "Do I love him?"
Love is "I am head over heels in love with him and never want to let him go".
It isn't a subtle thing - it smacks you full in the face when you least expect it and most often with someone who would never mean anything to you if you were to see them on the street or in a bar.
Love is the kind of thing you meet on a packed-out bus on your way to work with your hair disheveled and no makeup. Love is the kind of thing you think you've made up because it just sounds too good to brag about.
Love is hard. Love is so hard that sometimes you cry for hours on end because you don't know what to do with it. Real love hurts so hard that you want to let it go but know you never could.
Love is both frustrating and horrifying.
Love is not wanting him to leave to go to work or go to the toilet. Love is not wanting him to leave your side. Love is a part of you that someone else is looking after and guarding with all their heart. Love is not something that fades, but subconsciously makes you more rounded.
Love forces you to understand yourself. Love is nested in the fact that one single person knows more about you that anyone else ever could without you having to breathe a single word.
Love lasts. Love will always be there. Lost love lies dormant until death. Love is never forgotten.
Love gets stronger and stronger as each person moves on and eventually becomes so strong that you love that person forever, unfailingly.
Love makes mistakes.
I love you James. I don't know how else to say it. It's been 3 years now and I still can't say enough. I love you.
Love is "I am head over heels in love with him and never want to let him go".
It isn't a subtle thing - it smacks you full in the face when you least expect it and most often with someone who would never mean anything to you if you were to see them on the street or in a bar.
Love is the kind of thing you meet on a packed-out bus on your way to work with your hair disheveled and no makeup. Love is the kind of thing you think you've made up because it just sounds too good to brag about.
Love is hard. Love is so hard that sometimes you cry for hours on end because you don't know what to do with it. Real love hurts so hard that you want to let it go but know you never could.
Love is both frustrating and horrifying.
Love is not wanting him to leave to go to work or go to the toilet. Love is not wanting him to leave your side. Love is a part of you that someone else is looking after and guarding with all their heart. Love is not something that fades, but subconsciously makes you more rounded.
Love forces you to understand yourself. Love is nested in the fact that one single person knows more about you that anyone else ever could without you having to breathe a single word.
Love lasts. Love will always be there. Lost love lies dormant until death. Love is never forgotten.
Love gets stronger and stronger as each person moves on and eventually becomes so strong that you love that person forever, unfailingly.
Love makes mistakes.
I love you James. I don't know how else to say it. It's been 3 years now and I still can't say enough. I love you.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
<3 Heartbeat
The other day I just stared into his eyes as he leaned in close to me. His pupils caught the light in the way that crystal does; a gentle glint, and resembled silver medallions. When he stared back into my own eyes I could see that he felt the same as me. I couldn't feel it, we weren't touching: I could see it. When he said the three words I felt as if he was inside me and could barely hold the tears back. I suddenly needed him inside me and before he'd even asked, I was making passionate love to him.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Amsterdammmm boi
I've literally JUST decided that I really really really really REALLY want to go to Amsterdam for my birthday... I want to go on a prostitute and drug fuelled rampage through the Netherlands XD
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Confused!
Does it make more sense to act on your heart or your head?
If your intelligence is telling you to do something because it could make your life a hell of a lot easier, but your heart is telling you not to because it just undoes everything you've accomplished over the past year and a half, should you still go with your intelligence?
Is your instict a message from your heart or your head? My gut instinct says that I shouldn't do this and that I should face the consequences of what will happen if I don't go back on the medication.
If I go back on it I'll need atleast 14 hours of sleep a day and won't be able to drink any alcohol (although I have previously and have been fine), I'll also have problems focusing and concentrating for long periods of time, aswel as the obvious problems with my balance.
If I don't go back on it I may lose my driving lisence or end up being dizzy and prone to constant fainting. I also need more sugar in my diet, which means I'll put weight back on :(
ARGH
GRR
ARGH
HURRUMPH
ARGH
If your intelligence is telling you to do something because it could make your life a hell of a lot easier, but your heart is telling you not to because it just undoes everything you've accomplished over the past year and a half, should you still go with your intelligence?
Is your instict a message from your heart or your head? My gut instinct says that I shouldn't do this and that I should face the consequences of what will happen if I don't go back on the medication.
If I go back on it I'll need atleast 14 hours of sleep a day and won't be able to drink any alcohol (although I have previously and have been fine), I'll also have problems focusing and concentrating for long periods of time, aswel as the obvious problems with my balance.
If I don't go back on it I may lose my driving lisence or end up being dizzy and prone to constant fainting. I also need more sugar in my diet, which means I'll put weight back on :(
ARGH
GRR
ARGH
HURRUMPH
ARGH
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
